PUNishment

[ballfrog]

SOME PUNS FOR SEMI-EDUCATED MINDS:



1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. 
      When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said 'No change  yet.'
 
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects ! 

[Indigo Blues]

You are the PUNdent! Sorry no pun indented... intended.

[Terry]

                    The only REAL punishment in this joke section, is the stuff Michelle puts out there.    TRINITY

[mermaid]

  You only THINK you've been punished TRINITY, you haven't seen ANYTHING yet  >

[Indigo Blues]

Trinity, I take it that you have never heard about the scorn or wrath of a women

[mermaid]

Hey Indigo, don't think for a minute that TRINITY HASN'T,
he just hasn't had the pleasure of seeing MINE yet !

[Indigo Blues]

Remember that revenge is a dish best served cold, (and unexpected). >

[mermaid]

AND making sure there aren't any visible teeth OR nail marks  >

[scubafreek864]

I can't wait to see this happen!!  Michelle, you know that the invitation to "The Impulse" has been opened up by the owner!! ;D

[mermaid]

I saw the invitation too Robert, but as Indigo pointed out, the key to revenge is that "the owner" of "The Impulse"
doesn't expect it.