What do you look for in an Instructor

[eric myers]

I would look for an Instructor in MN that:

--Only has the minimum # dives required
--has an Instructor Cert. from an online class
--pushing 300# and not carrying it well
--wearing 42# of weight
--Running something like an AA 67 w/ J-Valve technology
--Jacket style vest
--No CPR, AED, EFR, O2 within 100 miles
--Uses only unbalanced, non-environmentally sealed, piston style, regulators with no Octo (i.e. Tusa)
--3mm Wetsuits, no gloves, no hoods, 
--Has the biggest snorkel
--Thinks an ascent rate is overrated. 
--Omits Safety Stops
--Leaves divers unattended in the water
--Drops the anchor with no rope attached
--Confuses DIR with DIY
--Has perfected the silt-out
--Dives only for classes
--Never dives with people at his/her level
--Rambles on about how they are BFF with John Chatterton and Ritchie Kohler
--Ends every sentence with..."and that's what it's all about!"
--Shows up to the dive site with a hangover
--Shouts orders like a drill sgt.
--Bought one of those underwater fishing poles...for everyone!



and oh yeah...

--Pink Fins!