All the Gifts I Don't Need this Holiday Season

[Kirk]

With all this talk about a mask with a computer display inside, it got me thinking about all the things I don't want to find under the festivus pole this holiday season.  (by the way, to the guy buying the fancy mask, I hope it works for you, it is just not something I need right now).

Someone out there makes an electronic devise which repels sharks.  One wears this devise on one's body, and it creates an electronic shield around the diver to keep the sharks away. 



Someone else makes a snorkel which plays the radio.



Ok, I own this one, but some of the functions are silly.  My dive computer, the VR3, has a video game on it for deco stops (I haven't figured out how to play it though, I think it has something to do with octopuses).  I've been told you can download novels on to this computer (ok, I thought deco time was why they handed out dive journals at fill shops and put pockets on drysuits).  In it's log function it also gives you approximate water temps (though its level of accuracy only really indicates whether the water was solid, liquid, or steam).



Someone else makes a devise which actually adds water to your regulator to reduce thirst (isn't that why they made juice boxes?, and, do I really want this thing to breath wetter than it does?).



Some one makes a mask to increase one's width of vision by using a prescription for short sighted eyes.  If you have good eye sight, and still want the same benefit, you have to wear contact lenses which counter act the effect.



Though this has got to be the best one. 

Apeks has a new regulator called "status".  On the first stage, they added an LCD display under the environmental seal. It reads the IP and tells you whether it needs to be adjusted. It also tells you to service the reg if needed based on either some unspecified amount of usage or annually, whichever is earliest.



Ok, there are some gadgets out there that I can understand.  The pee valve is one of them.  As many a homeless person has told me, "When you got to go, you got to go......".  I've also experience an underwater MP3 player on deco.  That was kind of fun.  And yes of course, there is the big scooter in the corner of the apartment, and those fancy overpriced flash lights sitting in those big black boxes on the living room floor.

But, call me a Luddite, but all I need is a new drysuit. 

A festivus for the rest of us.  - Happy Holidays.  - Kirk

[MAXFACTOR]

Kirk,,  that was excellent.  happy holidays.

maxfactor